Winning the Love, but Losing the Break-Up

05 Dec

heart_only_interlocked.jpgWe all know that love is a weapon. Accordingly, in the 160th Issue of the Warrior of Light Newsletter, Paulo Cohelo outlines a convention for treating those wounded in love. It’s a short set of rules analogous to the Geneva Conventions, except that it pertains to those wounded by love rather than by weapons.

Most of the “articles” of this convention describe how we should behave when we are hurt in interpersonal relationships, rather than how we should behave if we hurt someone else. For example:

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

The Geneva Conventions primarily govern the humanitarian treatment of non-combatants and prisoners of war (or more broadly, the enemy), so my intuition says that to extend the analogy these conventions of love should govern the treatment of your partner (or ex-partner), and perhaps their friends or family, after you have hurt them. But my intuition assumes that your partner is the one being hurt, that they are the “enemy”, and I don’t think Cohelo makes this assumption.

Rather, he describes how you should behave when you are wounded. The logical conclusion is that the pain you feel when hurt by love is self-inflicted, and a convention for how to cope with and manage such a terrible self-inflicted wound is a brilliant idea.


Posted by on December 5, 2007 in Garbage In, Garbage Out


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3 responses to “Winning the Love, but Losing the Break-Up

  1. Seeker

    December 6, 2007 at 7:32 am

    Yes. It is a beautiful idea. All pain is self-inflicted and we ourselves need to know how to deal with it.

    Thanks for the idea.

  2. aarthilal

    December 7, 2007 at 5:45 am

    I’m a big Paulo Coelho’s fan and I don’t know if you heard about his blog
    I’ve started as a fan and now I’m collaborating with him and thought that you would like to enter his universe.
    Check the blog.
    if you want, or subscribe to his newsletter
    You’ll see a community of warriors of light sharing ideas, dreams and most importantly following their personal legend.


    When a Warrior of Light is the victim of some injustice, he usually tries to be alone,
    in order not to show his pain to others. (Warrior of Light)

    See u there and have a great day!


  3. halfawake

    December 7, 2007 at 2:27 pm

    When a Warrior of Light is the victim of some injustice, he usually tries to be alone, in order not to show his pain to others.

    I’m not sure I understand this. Why would a WoL hide their pain? Is being a victim somehow shameful?


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