Um. Yeah. There are 10 days left until Christmas. And if you don’t shop, like a lot, before then… you don’t want to know what happens when the clock reaches zero. You really want to know? Well, it involves toothless elves who don’t like the sound of tortured squirrels writhing in pain half as much as they like giving you a root canal before they chew your arms off. That’s right, they eat your arms, bones and all, with no teeth.
There are two types of headlines that are popular this year:
“OMG There Are Sales! Hurry Or You Might Not Get 25% Off This Merch That’s Been Marked Up 50%!”
“OMG There’s A Recession! Maybe You Shouldn’t Be Shopping So Much?”
We just can’t win.